Soldier:God's Army

2005-12-31T10:32:00.000+08:00

Entry 41.

Hey...at first i was thinking of stopping blogging (sorry la lazy mah) but then now I come back from fga camp so fired up for God and totally determined to keep the fire burning and serving and doing what it takes to save a generation that's lost without God's love and salvation. Oh if only they know how much they're missing out!

I mean, if once you've tasted the awesome presence of God and you feel His touch so strongly, His love will literally overwhelm you! It's amazing when you just get into His presence and when His power fills you. You are on top of the world and not even the gates of hell can stop this heart ablaze for the glory of God with a passion for the name of Jesus (which is indescribably powerful, in case you didn't know)

Fga camp was so chunted! all of you must go if ever you have the chance! there is so much to receive and fire to catch! well, i'd love to elaborate a lot but...wow! How do you describe indescribable experiences? I know! Just go and see for yourself! Taste and see that the Lord is good, so good!

cos you see, i've only got my life right with God halfway up till then. First you have to get out of sin, then into God's power! unfortunately lots of us, like me, only get half the job done. You've got to do the whole thing and finish the transaction!

God has such amazing plans for you! and He can use you to do so great and mighty things een you would not believe after you've done it! Do you have the faith, what it takes to rise up and make a generation fall to its knees at the name of Jesus? God can work in you as much as your faith is! Don't you know that God is ready, God is waiting to do something so great that Malaysia has never seen before, and all He needs is

you

if not you, then who?

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2005-12-04T12:54:00.000+08:00

Entry 40.

Hmm...been thinking.

Y'know, i find it a bit wierd if i repeat my thoughtsblogging, when most of what i'd like to share is all on the cf forum. (http//:s4.invisionfree.com/chscf/) Cos' you see, most of what i blog about isn't what i ate or where i went, but what i learned from what's happened, or just a few thoughts.

Copy and paste is a wonderful thing. I'll say what you see here will sometimes be found also in the cf forum. . .

Just a thought i've been having for a long time on and off....

strange how we cannot really tell how a person is doing, spiritually especially. simply because of the simple fact that our spiritual strength chiefly relies on our personal private relationship with God our Father. I shared this with ET yesterday.

that's a truth. not something we can change, but just adapt to. For who but God can truly tell that we are hypocrites or transparent? Why else is He the supreme and worthy Judge?

It's a wound for me, not being able to properly asses an individual's true spiritual standing accurately? It's a lot harder to care if you can't see whether there's a problem or not.

One thing I learned.
That is to be true to yourself. Don't mind how other people are in the Lord yet, take care of yourself first. Let your relationship with God so shine among people, and not shine your light. Let Jesus so ferment your entire life that people are encouraged by you simply by the way you live. That's inspiration.

You know, it really is true, that the way we influence people the most is not ny what we say, but by who we are.

I heard this in a sermon the day before at Goeh Kien's church, that there is a distinct difference between shining your light and letting your light shine, as quoted above. If you didn't get the meaning, the former speaks of pride(blowing your trumpet, anyone?) while the latter simply means do not hide the light in you and do good works(passive inspiration). amen?

The guest speaker was Billy. His sermon title was 'What if Judgement were yesterday?', part of a four part talk about 'Are you sure?'. As you might guess, if judgement were yesterday, you'd either be in heaven or hell. Easy. So are you sure? So he quotes the Bible(Peter), 'repent and be baptized.'

So if a fire burns, it does not becauseit wants to be seen, but rather because it is on fire.

Let's burn!

2005-11-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

Entry 39.

Hmhm... august 10th...last entry....

Lessee... can use carbon dating to tell how long ago it's been. Haha, spm's close to over... only est on Friday's left, 'cept for all those poor accounts kids. They have to wait till monday afternoon to get it over and done with. Completely.

Wow.

Looking back, it's been about 5 months since i've blogged. Sure, i've stepped in here to peek a little, went online every now and then, but blogging? haha.

And since the last time i blogged, how i've grown. A few millimeters to my vertical measurements, i'll say, but i'm talking about the guy in me who's a little less physical.

my inner guy's been growing. i've been learning, cos' God's been teaching. To share a few:

- Be positive.
So faith comes by hearing and hearing from the Word of God. Unfortunately we don't get to hear all the time, for the simple fact that we don't have 'Word' all the time... So our faith comes from? Right. Our own lips. (cf. prov 18:21) The toungue is really a powerful thing. So next time speak postively. Be confident and have self-esteem. Know where you stand in God. Then proclaim it. (to yourself)

- Be proactive.
Say something isn't done right, or something should be done but isn't. Like helping someone in need or a meeting is going nowhere. Then what do you do? i know you know the answer but most people don't like it: do something. Yes, it's easier to sit in the sidelines and the only strain is the itch in your gluteus maximus, your behind. Trust me, i know. But what have we? A spirit of timidity or a spirit of power? (2 Tim 1:7) You do the math.

By the way, dear Kent terms such an attitude as being "sharp".

eh...i want to play liao. till next time (soon, promise).
God rules, yo.

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2005-08-07T19:52:00.000+08:00

Entry .

Wow.

Life has been good. :P at a glance, at a speculation, at a muse, no matter how i look at it, life has been good, God has been good, was, and always will be. hmm, i'm listening to a song. my brother downloaded it, i don't know who the singer or band is, but it goes like this: "this is your life, are you who you ought to be? ...This is your life, is it all that you dreamed it would be?"

I'd like to ask you that question. How is your life? i'm not talking about life at the moment. Roald Dahl knows what i mean:

"if you can meet Tirumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same"

Good and bad times on earth don't last. i'm talking about life from the beginning till now. How's it been?

Has it been good? Or has it been terrible? Or simply a roller coaster of ups and downs?

eh...eat dinner...cont next time..lol.

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2005-07-30T16:48:00.000+08:00

Entry 37.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EE LING!

Wow...looking back on the past week a lot of stuff has been happening. (Not my fault i can post once or twice a week only, right?)

The 40-day fast and prayer for the nation started last thursday... on and off it's so so only, but the best and most encouraging part of it is that Florence decided to join us, and she's one of the most diligent ones, bless her! I find it very encouraging that ever since she's retired as a prefect, I've been seeing her face a whole lot more in cf! Keep it up, ya?

Let's see... last Friday the committee changed hands...now all my beloved form 5 brothers and sisters are now officially retired (aww...hehe). and then on Saturday after church we all met at Esther's house for a steamboat dinner. To cut a long story short, it was wild la...for more information please view Et or Liz's blog, both of them have a graphic description of the most 'happening' thing that occured. (hint hint :P)

and then...on tuesday I was hanging around in s7, cos everyone was having relief, and when I was talking to Kryz, she asked "do you want to come with us to Pasar Seni?" She and Ee Ling were going to look for a shirt manufacturer to make their class T-shirt. It's quite unique, really. in a cute, cartoony way la. I'm not the only one who thinks so. quite a few outsiders actually ordered them too!

Same thing happened on thursday. apparently Rao was cancelled, and i only found out when i got to school. except that today lim yong, yi kinn, goeh kien and joyce came along too. huhuh. XP

well, looking back on things i realized that my mood has been going up and down lately. and yet all we need to do is depend on God for all that we need. I mourn the fact that my days have been getting busier and busier as time goes by. why? I'd like to know. I remember being so free to do anything i liked with all my free time last year, and last last year too....and Jesus says "come to Me..."

so that's how important devotion is. and having a vision or a dream too. as Pastor Joshua said, "the poorest are not those without money, but those without dreams." amen? cause what we need is a purpose, a dream, some to to hope for, to work toward ... that's a drive. it's what we call motivation. don't waste life. for example, i wanna save the world, so i gotta strive everyday, and do my best to make it come true!

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2005-07-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

Entry 36.

been thinking just now. was skimming through our cf website and everybody's blogs and all...i noticed how everyone's opinion, way of thinking, and styles are different. gee, that's what makes us, us isn't it? God is working so very powerfully in all our lives. Who can know it? God uses others to teach us, and us to teach others.

I wonder what kind of a person Jesus was. The gospels weren't all to indicative. and maybe better so. who knows, some people might not have agreed with His personality. was He quiet? was He humourous? was He hyper-active? what did He say? how did He say it? it's all very curious.

but from where i stand, i know all i need to know. Jesus loves me this i know :P , He's very caring, unbelievably patient, terribly forgiving, and most of all, absolutely loving. i think that's all i need to know, right?

stand in awe of God...i'm so amazed by the way God has been moving in my life...it's unbelievable!

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2005-07-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

Entry 35.

uh oh. just when i tried logging on to blogger, my line disappeared! my router always does that! this time it was all thanks to this dumb zen puzzle game i was playing for ten minutes after i downloaded it. so because i was too inactive online my line decided to back out on me. once again. so now the stupid zen game is in my recycle bin. then i emptied the bin. hmph. -_-

i'm only geram now because to reconnect, i tried turning off and turning on my router. i clean forgot that my brother was downloading a whole bunch of things. then my computer blinked. really, it did!it somehow managed to restart itself as i switched the router off and on again. oh man, my brother is so going to hentam me. bleh.

. . . was a little bit moody today. not the touchy angry kind of moody, but the no-feeling kind of moody. been going up and down on the big sine graph of life lately, oscillating from good to bad to good ineffably. the cliche-ed pendulum. huh.

i guess that's why faith is our foundation, not feelings, eh? if we base our faith on our feelings we'd be like lalang in a hurricane. or a candle under a fan. left, right, left, right, whoosh! gone.

not much too say...or too much i guess. i think i'm too used to living with a purpose, a drive, a motivation to spur me on that i feel at a loss when i don't FEEL it's there. (though feeling it's not there doesn't mean that it isn't). i'm glad the feeling doesn't last long, thank God. and now abide faith, hope and love these three, but the greatest of these is love. :P

LPS election tomorrow...feeling happy yet sad. i think everyone can relate. (graduation, anyone?) :P

oh, and by the way...pray pray pray pray pray. for what? for everything! especially for others, and for now, namely all our graduated brothers and sisters, lol.

man i hope my brother won't screw me too much. >.< hope for the best. :P

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2005-07-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

Entry 34.

i can't believe it's Sunday already! it's not fair! i didn't get to sleep on saturday night due to sports day preparations, so yesterday felt like on longggg friday! and i didn't get to go to church!

i really didn't want to go to help, you know. my mom said i had to choose between sports day preparations and church. obviously my prime choice is church. and then Si Yi calls me at 9p.m. and tells me i HAVE to come. oh man oh man oh man...i wanna go to church! i lost the negotiation. i can say that it was a good experience, learning to work overnight, climbing up and down the bakau constructions. we lost. so what? i had a great experience, although i would so rather have had gone to church instead! *pouts*

so the bottomline is, appreciate church. it's a wonderful privillege to be able to congregate with other people, most of whom you don't know, and corporately adore the One who loves you infinitely, whom you love with a lot of your heart. :P

sigh...another week without church...yes i know it's not a must, but it's like a very helpful supplement to the soul. nevermind...still gotta keep my commitment to self...smile!

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2005-06-25T13:52:00.000+08:00

Entry 33.

Had a long talk with zheng de last night. funnily, i was the one doing most of the talking. sometimes i getsick of my own voice once i talk too much. maybe because i'm quite monotone in my speech. anyway, from talking to him (or just myself), i learned that God is really very intangible, meaning He's not that easy to be felt or seen. don't you think?

it's like the wind, you know. you know it's there, but you can't see it. it's also like all those atoms and molecules that we learn all too much about in school. we learn about what reaction takes place and happens on the molecular level, but hey, can you actually see it? heck, no. so we learn all about God and angels and demons and heaven and hell and etcetera, but can we actually see it? heck, no either. but how come we trust the text books more than the good news of God? how come we digest everything our Malaysian syllabus spoon feeds us, and yet we scrutinise, question, and ignore the gospels and scriptures?

maybe because to believe in something like God and Jesus is a 'little' harder than our biology textbooks. just today my tennis coach said God isn't tangible. not at all. and so we live by faith and not by sight. all God asks for is a little bit of faith. everything's done. God came, got spit on and murdered. all He asks from us is to believe that easter is real.

but just like there wasn't room for God when He visited our rugged earth, there isn't much room in the hearts of many of us. God comes to the doors of our hearts and knocks gently, yet persistently and firmly. open up the door. go get your own Christmas. let it happen in your heart.

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2005-06-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

Entry 32.

Just taking a peek in here...haven't got much time...so i'll say what i have to say: church was chun! it was so fun, seeing everyone there, how everyone's just gathered at one place at one time to do one thing: see God. or at least i hope that's what it is. Note: must always keep purpose in check. oh, and don't ask me what was amazing about church. no, nothing was special taht day, besides the cake for Ps. Joshua (Happy B'day Ps. Joshua! though you'll probably never see this.) what was energizing about church? God! He was so everywhere! woo! wanna know how good? taste and see! (Psalm 34:8) it's a must!

hmm, my mum's looking at me. until next time, God bless! ^^ heh.

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2005-06-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

Entry 31.

This is my fourth consecutive post! *grin*

got my glasses changed last night. sheesh, my power went up by 75 each in 2 years and my mom wants me to have contact lens! isn't that too much? yala they're good and helpful and all that, but they are as convenient as tying an elephant with a bling bling to the back of your pants and walking with that.

fine, looks like i'm definitely not a fan of contact lenses. so ma fan. i can still remember the days when i was just a wee little kid, waking up and getting out of bed "uhhh...." WITHOUT having to put on any spectacles or contact lens or whatever whatnot! *sob* (that was 7-9 years ago. i forget)

erk...i'm whining. let's go deeper, all right? when i first put on my new glasses with heightened sight impairment repairing ablity :) my eyes hurt. duh. but it was for the better now wasn't it. that's just like life, isn't it? sometimes we don't like having a clearer vision, not because we don't like what we see, but just because our 'eyes' hurt, we're simply not used to it. but it's worthwhile, because once you've adjusted to your new paradigm, things become much better, clearer.

so when God opens your eyes to show you or tell you you something, don't be surprised if it'll hurt initially, but don't wince or turn away either. sometimes wake up calls or "oi! do this ah! get up lah!"s aren'y comfortable, but if what we get is a clearer vision and a better view of heaven, don't you think the pain is worth the gain?

i think so too.

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2005-06-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

Entry 30.

Just been to florence's blog. wow! the mention of Jesus appears so affectionately and quite frequently it's heart warming. you know, it's not often you get to see someone who you know believes in Jesus' amazing love grow up so well in Him. i'm not implying that i don't expect it, but i probably wouldn't get to see it....

wow!

:P heh...it just feels so nice to know that someone you know out there knows how wonderful it is to be loved by God! aw, come on, it's God's love! if you haven't been there, then i suggest that you either try to take a dip in His love now or go dip yourself in boiling lemonade. i'm serious! it's that good. don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

and so that's how being a reflector is so important!

still i feel like i wasted today. went to school for pn. lim yoke keng's extra chemistry class (hey, it's not so bad) then braden (i'll call him shot) and i went to kiara club...in his 7-series! with driver! wow! that was my first time riding in a bmw...cool...so then we had lunch with goeh kien, yi kinn and lim yong. then apparently goeh kien had to leave early..(dumb passport..grumble grumble) so the rest of us decided not to continue in kiara, thus lim yong dropped us at ss2.

i was late for tuition! why? because we 'cao'ed until past five. (tuition's at five) doh! today feels wasted. how....can i waste even one day?? i'm not even sure i'll breathe tomorrow, i gotta live wisely, man, sheesh...

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2005-06-07T14:33:00.000+08:00

Entry 29.

ooh, life is good! no, i have no specific reason why i'm feeling happy now, but we don't need a reason to smile, now do we? so, while the time is good, just a note to myself:

Dear me of the future,

This is a reminder for you that life is always good! or did you forget to look today?

you've got green trees and blue skies and cool winds and sunsets and lotsa friends, a good family, lots of wonderful promises from God, clothes on your back, food in your tummy, a peaceful nation amd a loving Father!

so if you're doubting God right now, then thank God you looked back to this post, cos i'll tell you that God is good ALL the time! He will always be amazing no matter what! If you can't see Him now, don't worry, cos He's there! I know, because i can see Him clearly from where i stand! so you've got my word that God is good and there!

Take care, Jesus loves!

signed,
yourself.

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2005-06-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

entry 28.

going to try to blog more often. :P what for? for funla i guess. cos i don't think i'll drill to often. i don't get to use the computer much lately.

yay! i got to go to church! it's so exciting when you haven't been there in so so long...(exams mah not my fault) and when you come thirsty and looking for God, WOW. it's wonderful i tell you, but don't go skipping church just to see how chun it feels when you come back. appreciate church lah, guys.

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2005-04-24T11:49:00.000+08:00

Entry 27.

Sheesh. I'm going to start drafting in notepad again. it's too risky doing it on blogger...

well, how's life? i'm not really sure. I think i shouldn't be examining my life, scrutinising it so often. Or should I? Gee, I dunno. well, life has been good lately...except for yesterday.

First I went to school for hari ucapan, then after that we went to MMORPG for dota about 4 hours, then we came back to school for our LPS SEU. (kinda lots of short forms, eh?)

y'see, the thing is, i spent the whole day feeling i could be doing something better, namely, go to church. it's been a long time since i've been out of house for so long, from 8 in the morning to 10:30pm. wow. i dunno, it just feels weird not doing something that would really interest me...though i know it doesn't really matter, as long as you do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men! yeah!

but still i'd rather have gone to church. :P lol.

God bless y'all!

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2005-04-17T16:33:00.000+08:00

Entry 26.

stupid blogger ate my post...
i post until so nice summore, and then the thing go makan my post. I say, man.
so geram...lazy to type again summore, so next time,lah. anyway, thanks for being here, readers!

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2005-03-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

Entry 25.

yeeeeeeeeeee.....................

sigh. don't wanna talk about it public. if you wanna know come find me.

nuts, man. everyone I know is going nuts. okay, not everyone. just a few really. still...*swank* still the sun is bright and the seas are blue(or is it bluish green?) and God is still good. amen!

Today's drill:

Ever had a lazy day before? I know some people out there are dying for a day off, but in my case, living through the school holidays with a drab lifestyle more than qualifies as a lazy day. It really seems like a waste of life at the moment right now. Waking up, doing a little this and a little that, what with all of it being pointless and all.

Isn't there more to life? Don't you ever wonder sometimes if you've ever made life worth it? Have you ever looked at the life you held in your hands, all your achievements, past and dreams, and wonder if there really is something more?

If your answer is yes, then thank God, because it means that life hasn't been too good for you to miss the longing for something more. It means that your journey through life hasn't been too much of a smooth sailing for for you to miss the paradise waiting for you to find. Really.

Sometimes we need that you know. The bad things, I mean. All the hurt, all the heartache, all the disappointments. Somehow when life gets too good, we seem to take everything for granted, and become a little complacent, sometimes.

"For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as sons; for what son is he whom the Father chastens not?"(Hebrews 12:6-7)

Don't we all need a little reminder or a knock on the head somtimes to wake us up? That's what Satan's for. Crashing our dreams and bringing down our world, so that hopefully, we'd look within and not without ourselves for once and find our longing still not satisfied: God.

No, God is not a sadist or a greedy-for-glory manipulator, puh-leez. It's for our own good! Wake up, think about it. How many times in your life have you ever been scolded by your parents, teachers, and heaven knows who else? What do you think it's for? Sadistic pleasure? Heck, no. (well maybe in some cases, but not with God.)

God sends our world crashing down on us only because He needs to, or rather because we need it. And maybe sometimes even that's not enough. Not enough to bring you back into His arms, where He has got all the best for you: eternity, comfort, joy, security, love, if only you knew. Or did you?

Tell me, what will it take to bring you to the cross, and find your life, your real life there?

Think about it.

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2005-03-16T16:15:00.000+08:00

Entry 24.

Heyo....i'm at home right now. kinda boring. been playing dota the whole morning. not that i'm sick of it, but it's taking too much time. one game's about an hour or so...

well.....

today's drill(finally):

It's strange how sometimes the weather accompanies your mood or the occasion. It rained the night my teacher passed away. It wasn't the heavy kind of rained with thunder and lightning, but merely a soft kind of rain. Heavier than a drizzle but still infrequent. That night the sky seemed still. The shadow of death passed this house.

I felt queer. My thoughts and emotions were conflicting. I felt numb, grieving and yet I knew I should be rejoicing, because she was a believer. Maybe somewhere in my heart I did, but it didn't show.

How could it be, that during the moment that we should be rejoicing for our departed one, we are at one of our most sorrowful moods? Could it be that through that person's death, we are forced to come face to face again with the reality of death, and we would need assurance that our loved one has claimed the promise that we hope for, to claim it ourselves one day? Having our faith challenged, we are forced to question our beliefs, our trusts, can the words of the Galilean carpenter be trusted?

As I stood among the crowd at the funeral service, beyond the shelter, I felt numb. I didn't know the teacher very well. Or at all, come to think of it. I came to know her by having her health as one of our cf prayer items. Cancer is a deadly disease. Unanswered prayer affects our faith when the damage is big. Having prayed for her well being for months over, I had come to care for the outcome of her struggle against the disease. And as it turned out, the world grieved at a death of the body as heaven rejoiced at a birth.

But truly, can the Nazarene who hanged out with fishermen and ate with tax-collectors be trusted? Those who have encountered Him personally will tell you yes, that our God is bigger than our death. God will point to a His own broken body on a cross, then at an empty tomb, and softly tells you, "do not be afraid."

But there is a need for grievance. A time to remember our loved ones, relish the old memories, then move on. For one day we will go to be where they've gone too.

But until then hang on to the words God spoke to us through human flesh, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he may die, will live again; and whoever believes in me and lives shall never die."

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2005-03-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

Entry 23.

Josh going NS tomorrow!!!!! *sob* I'll miss his hair....lol. the guy has helped me during forensics, and none of them have anything to do with trying to win. he's helped me check my motives, see where I stand, and some others...

Anyway, we went to FGA today thinking he was there. we meaning ET, Esther and i. it turned out that he came for the earlier service, but by the time we found out we had already been to the whole of the second service.

you know what? the service today at FGA was unlike the usual youth services at RLC, and according to Esther it's even more different at St. Paul's...

hekkk, my mom's pressuring me...i'll continue next time...sorry..

night dudes!

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2005-03-12T10:53:00.000+08:00

Entry 22.

heyheyhey....
i feel like liz in her blog, writing only for et...but i do check up on everyone's blog's, once in a while...so this post is dedicated to et and so is my sincere yet half-hearted recommitment to post because i'm not sure how consistent i can be...not that i don't want to of course....so...

life's been up and down for me lately...my moods been going up and down so frequently i feel like a pendulum on resonance, or pms if i may jokingly quote dear esther...

sigh, truly, truly do we followers of the way have to live by faith and not by sight(2 Cor 5:17)having found something better, the love of Christ that compels us to live up to His impossible standards and not conform to the ways of the world. But bear in mind, brethren(if there are any others here besides et) that the power of God is strong in our weakness.Amen!

I remember the days when i wasn't a believer, carefree, innocent, simple....i remember how i used to lie as if i got 10 bucks everytime i did, and how i used to live life like an idiot drone, live for the moment, in a blind way...

well, now i'm different. worse off but well loved. that's because we rise from the standard that the world has set for us, up to the requirement that Jesus sets upon us. certainly we cannot even obey 10 simple commandments, but being yoked with Christ, all things are possible with God. Amen.

(I wonder where this post is headed. it doesn't seem to have a point)

eheheh....

so anyway..thanks for reading..till next time...

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2005-01-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

Entry 21.

*cough*
it's getting quite dusty here wei....
anyway,
it appears that most people have given up blogging,
save ET and Kryz...
so i think i'll blog when it's out of style..

---------------------

Cool year wei!!!
I've been busy, sometimes too busy..
Been to meeting yesterday,
it was really good, especially the worship
but i had to go to tuition halfway
and come back later(nuts)
then we gave Kiang Hong a farewell lunch..
he's leaving for the kangaroos this morning....
I'll miss him.

then school has been so cool
because Nick and Zheng De and Kwan Yew
have been coming to cf every morning...
lol

I've been really busy nowadays...
it's no fun, trust me....
I really want to cut down on them...
"come to Me all you who weary and are heavy laden...and I will give you rest.."

if anyone of you are still reading this
out there, thanks for your diligence or
for just bothering to come.GBY

Rock on!

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2004-12-19T14:41:00.000+08:00

Entry 20.

leaving town for fraser's hill soon....
don't predict it'll be very fun, cos i've got a lot of better things to do at home...
been busy with my own stuff for christmas, and it's kinda grim that i don't think i'll get it done on time....
bleh, not feeling too hot atm...

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2004-12-17T17:07:00.000+08:00

Entry 19.

sorry i haven't been blogging for the past few days, but i've been really busy. you see:

monday:

caroling practice. nothing out of the ordinary happened, i think. same ol, same ol.

tuesday:

final caroling practice before real day on thursday. nicholas came with et! i was/am so glad nicholas was willing to come for caroling even if he had only attended the last practice.

wednesday:

cg outing! watched 'without a paddle'. very nice moral message: bring your friand with you wherever you go and whatever you set out to do, do it NOW.so nice of liz to keep us all in touch and make cards for us. *sniff* i'm so touched. i learned a very personal lesson on the way home. i think i can sum it up to this: 'honour your father and your mother' and 'love your neighbour' both concern our parents. only 'love your neighb our' concerns our friends and strangers. gets which gets top priority?

thursday:

oh wow, caroling was sooo fun! it wasn't anything i expected, but still it was bloody chunted! i was incredibly sleepy and hungry, but oh man one and a half person got saved! honestly i think that made it worth all the trouble we took to carol.

et was so funny when the girl at the shelter (yi lin i think)

i learned something. the language barrier is a very strong. we, or me at least, had trouble communicating with the old folks, let alone share the gospel. oh, but the kids at the shelter were fun though, and i had a delightful surprise to know that some of the kids could break. wow.

oh oh oh i forgot to say a few things during the recap on the camp....

- a very special thanks to all those people who helped and cared for my finger during the camp, especially joel lim, et and fiona. thanks all you guys, even if you didn't do much, giving the least of attention helped me feel like i mattered. thanks so much all of you, you rock!

nuts, i forgot the rest...

oh man, i so miss camp....the atmostphere of worship was so strong, everyone was so nice......crap i'm really going to have a hard time missing camp. bleh.

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2004-12-10T15:38:00.000+08:00

Entry 18

woo, cf camp rocks! I know, i know, i havent been to another camp before, but still, it's quite a SOMETHING. well, here goes.:

DAY 1

when we met at school, it turned out that there were so many people who cancelled, and also lots of people who joined in, without my knowledge. The worst part of the usual before we left school on the bus was that i only had ONE lolipop for the trip, so i saved it for last.(i know you're looking at me like 'that')

when we got there the place was nicer than i expected, until the lousy bathrooms and bloodthirsty vampiric mosquito hordes came into consideration.

the icebreaker and inventing the team cheers were quite fun, and then at night we had our first session with pastor andrew, who was a really interesting guy who somehow managed to get dota(woohoo) into the sessions by making us list out important things in our lives.

pastor andrew talked about the deeper and shallower sides of faith, then told us about the goliaths of life. who challenge us, to see if we were shallow soldiers or deep davids.

later we had our care groups, ours at the no-shoes place, consisting of liz(leader), Jesus, et, joel lim, kiang hong and ruey wen, but joel and i came in super late because joel, who's a pbsm (and nice) guy, offered to chenge my wound dressing because i cut my figer the day before making name tags.heheh.

only later then did i find out that i left li en with two non-christians, because et was out for his party that night, piling on the guilt on me. blehh. heheh.

at supper only the free food got eaten and all the fund-raising sales items weren't touched at all. *gripes* cheapos (i didn't bring money)

that night we had a casual and short comitee meeting after lights out. (p.s. i didn't take bath that day. heeheehee)

and the worst thing of today was that after the meeting i found afour bibles lying around. kinda struck me as lack of respect for the holy.

DAY 2

today we comittee woke up early for camp prayer meeting, which was a really humbling session where everyone was kneeling in prayer. then we pre-read devotion since most or all of us haven't touvhed it yet.

then of course we went for devotion at the hut, which was quite okay, except that ruey wen and kiang hong were a little quiet, which was understandable though.

nothing much happened later, just that pastor andsrew's message for the day got a little twisted because private parts and dota made their way to the list of priorities in our life. bleheheheheh.

cg at the poolside was fun, especially when joel and kent joined us af

then after lunch, we split to our own workshops, where i was with kent in public speaking beside the pool. it had been awhile since i've done impromptu. we finished early because we only had four other people (ray tat, jiunn heng, wayne and marcus).

so i left to meet liz's acting group at the stairs on the way to the hall, who were at that time, umm, making faces (literally). then as i was leaving abu pulled down my pants, and coincidentally liz asked them to make an angry face. >:( grr

then i left to check out the praise and worship at the hall, which was kinda lonely and unorganised but happy enough. But the best was dance leader esther who was by far the most impressive workshop. she got them danciong 'shackles' all together. nice moves too...

part of today's games was a wierded football where each five-player team had twogirls, who were the only ones who could score. it was really a sight to see, like fiona the star player (shane called her mrs ganas. lol) charging through the guys who aren't allowed to tackle the girls and li en who jumped circles with one foot on the ball and the other foot hopping. (this must be a little embarassing for you if you're reading this, liz. sorry, couldnt resist)

it was during afternoon that daniel fell sick. poor guy, it really sucks to be sick at camp.

after today's dinner and praise and worship, the campers split into two groups : the nightwalkers who went out for a walk in the dark outside jungle lodge top scare themselves silly and learn a thing or two about plants at night; and the other bunch who stayed at the camp site to play games.

during supper time some of the coke and cup mee were bought because esther was training the dance workshop people at the canteeen. poor esther, pushing herself to put up a good show for the next day's talent night. she looked so exhausted.

at the comittee meeting it turned out that gamemasters ivan and sze ming were begining to get stressed out by the games. poor guys too.

DAY 3

today we were supposed to wake up at six for the prayer meeting, but all of us overslept except for sarah, who so faithfully waited for no one to come. bo, were we tired out. danirl woke up quite healthy today, thank God.

during the briefing kent gave us all a knock on the head for being late for the programs yesterday and for leaving behind and losing our stuff, especially the camp booklet (that goes for me too, hehe)

we had the most wonderful and heart-warming session that morning, at least in my point of view, that is.

and then pastor andrew concluded his message early to talk to us about making the right choices in life. by the way he talked, he sounded like he really meant what he said and really wanted to talk to us about it, nice guy. but the thing is, no one, i think, and i hope i got it wrong, no one came up to him later afterwards when he asked people who had questions or prayer requests to see him later. i really hope im wrong.

following that he had a very smooth and quick photo session, even though it was interrupted by et choking on a misguided fly, poor guy.
then we had our care group at the no-shoes place again, which went on quite ubeventfully.

then after lunch we came together to get our topics for talent night. we got jonah and the whale, which was easy and quick to do, and fun too.

during games esther and shae nee colided head to eyebrow. shae nee was fine after awhile, but esther's bruise swelled and later looked like a black eye, or eyeshadow. cute.

before dinner we played a little football, which was the best time filler for freetime, and daniel, who fell sick again in the afternoon joined us got a little warning from li en that if he fell sick again tommorow he would still have to attend every activity.

and then during dinner i found out i left my bible at the canteen during talent night practice. man i feel so guilty for leaving my bible here and there a few times throughout the whole camp. bleh.

after dinner and paraise and worship the talent nitght began. im sure we all had a good time, especially when joel dressed up as a bodacious delilah to seduce samson. we all had a good laugh. oh and we wonn! we won the best act! woohoo! lol

then esther and her dancers came to perform their dance. problem was i accidently pulled the plug loose halfway through the dance, so they had to take it from the top again....my fault ler....anyway it was really good, and i was honestly impressed by what they could do in just two days. it was really amazing of esther, with her black eye and all that.

finishing that we had supper and most or almost all of the campers stayed up until 3am playing truth or dare, chatting, fooling around, zheng de and i brushed up on our breaking a little, too. it was cool, but i had to leave for the meeting, which i was late for.

we had to redo tommorow's camp schedule because the current one was a draft; and it turned out that munn sing's group had a handful of conflicts; and the gamemasters were even more stressed than ever. poor dudes.

DAY 4

we woke up late again!! i feel so bad and irresponsible even though everyone else slept in also.

we started with devotion in the hall, then after breakfast we had our two hour cg at the hut, where our pens kept dropping through the floor, and once all of a sudden ruey wen broke down and cried for a few minutes, so li en went over to give her a hug (awww) while we huys just sat helplessly and all we could do was offer some tissue. she was okay after that (i hope).

right after cg liz took us to the river to wash our feet like Jesus did, but the feeling wasn't really there, because i knew she needed to do that before hand. so all of us decide to wash her feet also, since Jesus told us to do it for one another. it was a nice moment.

after that we went back to the hall for the prize-giving, quite uneventful though. today everybody was running around asking for each others autographs and stuff. i regret not getting everyone's autogrephs now after i look back on it.

next was sharing, where zoe, only form one came up to be the first to share. it was really bold of her. i was also surprised and impressed that nicholas went up and told everyone how he was 'forced' to come to camp and all that.

then after lunch and packing up was a short photo session before we left for the bus. et took me home, along with zoe, esther and nicholas. the kembara was jam packed with all our lugage and two zambes! so esther and i squeezed behind, zoe sat on nicholas in front and et sat behind the wheel. zoe had to duck twice when we saw the police.

overall, it was damm chun gao wei!! first camp i've ever been to and im sure it won't be my last! for all of you who missed it, sucks for you and come next year!

oh and a few things i'd like to note a few things to myself: the menuy was kinda boring but good enough; there were lots and lots of injuries though nothing serious; the geese drank the dishwater in the drain, my quiet time was disrupted, pn tai was so nice to buy us snacks, and God was, and is, and always will be so cun.

p.s. sorry this post is bloody long but its supposed to be for me to look back on it and read this if ever i forget my first camp ever, andi know i haven't drilled for a long time, but soon, soon.

God bless and

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2004-12-04T13:06:00.000+08:00

Entery 17.

oh man oh man oh man and even though i didn't get to go to the planetshakers nite rally on thursday with yi kinn and got there forty minutes late on friday and came in the middle of the song and couldn't find et and everybody at first and i messaged liz who turns out wasn't there at all and the music and the solos and the worship and the God was sooo good (gasp)(inhale) and the message was outtasight and i dont care if yi kinn thought it was only okay and it was so cun and it was so long since i got so high on God and hyperactive and couldnt stop even if the rally did and the whole thing was so inspiring and almost everybody there was so 'up' with God and the feeling there was like so high and it was so cool and if you werent there you dont know what cool crap you just missed it GOD ROCKS!!(gasp)(inhale)

woohooo//i'm high man.. i know i havent been to much christian concerts or rallies or camps and stuff, but i'll vouch that this is my best one ever! hallellujah!!

oh, and by the way the pastor talked about acts 16:16 where Paul and Silas who were imprisoned prayed and sang hymns at midnight in jail, and the result was they and the other prisoners were set free, so he asked us if the praise was gonna come to us or come from inside of us to others.

at first i couldn't really stand like the others when he asked if it the praise was in us, cos i remember so many times i faltered in sharing the good news.

so i made a vow.

(i know its not good to swear, but..)
a made a vow to never be ashamed of God and my faith, and be bold and thick-skinned in sharing God's word, and to be passionate for souls, and for Him, always. amen

whoever you are, reader, bind me to my promise, please. i dont want to break this.if you ever see me go against what i have just typed, then rebuke me in what manner you need to. thanks.

and God bless you.God rocks and so do you.

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2004-12-02T11:44:00.000+08:00

Entry 16.

Dude,it really sucks when your bicycle is flat. Yeah, mine is. Caused me a world of trouble.
I pumped the flat wheel, thinking it was okay when it didn't just go flat again, so i took a ride to yan yee's place on monday, coz she, liz and ether wanted to make name tags. The ride their was fine, but my beloved bike gave up on me so i to walk all the way from taman mayang to taman tun carrying my bike. Bleh.

and boy are name tags hard to do, especially when you have two conflicting voices of opinion which you don't know which to listen to.
i'm talking about liz and esther here, giving me the first official mega headache in art design.(don't worry man, i'm cool)
So after a little bit of compromisation and 'whatever'-toned voices, i finally got it MY way (hahaha) which is so much easier and less stressful to do, cos i'm using potoshop to do it.grin*. anyway, here's the drill:

It doesn't snow here in Malaysia, but yep, it's that time of the year again.

Christmas. The season of giving. The mention of it brings to mind presents, santa claus, snow, sales promotions, christmas trees, carols, children laughing, christmas lights, reindeers, rudolph, holidays, loads of food, greeting cards, Jesus....

what? Jesus? what does He have to do with christmas? oh, sure we know what Jesus has to do with christmas, the whole point of the holiday and Saviour and all that, but what does He have to do with our christmas?

I mean, look around you, you see greeting cards and wrapping paper all around, you feel the spirit of christmas, the giving and santa and the joy and all that crap(excuse me). But when it comes to the meaning of christmas, how many of us, in our hearts , relive the first christmas night, without the lights and all, and follow the quiet star of bethlehem?

Go on, this christmas, pull yourself away from the christmas parties, the presents, the cards, the songs, the lights, and even the people around you, to go back and pick up the dusty trail to bethlehem.

Go, follow the wise men, let the light of bethlehem guide you to the Light of the world.

Go, accompany the shepherds, let the joyous visit of the angels humble and prepare you for the quiet visit of the saviour.

And once you find the manger, and kneel under the silent night sky, let the convictions buried beneath the dust of ages and rush of time, resurface and fill your heart once again.

God's promise is kept.

Truth still triumphs.

Love goes the distance, from heaven to earth.

Power, fame and money are still hollow, salt water to the lost at sea.

God is near, today.

and the best things, always come unnoticed, so make sure you don't miss them, like the God who came to beat the hell out of death lying quietly in a horse's manger, asleep.

So go, go on to bethlehem this christmas. God bless you, whoever you are.

p.s. and like the wise men and shepherds, after you recompse yourself from the wonderment of the hushed holy, give an offering, and offer your life. It's what you do in the presence of the saviour of your soul.

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2004-11-25T17:40:00.000+08:00

Entry 15

Dude, getting kinda dusty here. haven't been here for quite a while coz my bro's spm's still going on. so if traffic here is nil,i don't blame you reader (if you're there at all.and if you are, thanks)

but it doesn't matter much if traffic here. coz the main reason i started this blog was, and is to keep track of all my little thoughts and insights. so...here's the drill:

my head hurts...
fell down from some monkey bars yesterday. tried to do a somersault but lost my grip and fell flat, head first (ouch). eh..just hope that nothing internal is damaged.

reminded me of a story (though not very clearly) about a guy who had lost a whole lot in gambling and moaned 'i've lost everything'. So his friend asked him 'what happened? did you lose your salvation?' The guy shook his head. "did you lose your character?" no, the guy replied. "did you lose your integrity?' still no. "Then you have lost nothing." the other guy concluded.

it kinda hit me then....that most of what's important in life hasn't much to do with our bodies (though health does matter) what matters more is God, what we do, what we think, caring for others and all that.

So what the heck with the bump behind my head. This bod ain't anything.

p.s. i'm supposed to be in church today.to whom it may concern (esp God) sorry lah no transport. feeling kinda bad right now. bleh.

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2004-10-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

Entry 14.

boring now that test is over. blah...............
no more pressure, life is slowing down to a crawl.....
*drools nonchalantly*
nuts.
sorrylah nottin to post...>.<

2004-10-06T11:52:00.000+08:00

Entry 13.

Crap it's been a while.
Well, for your info, i'm in d school library now. We got streamyx!cool, eh?

Today's drill:
Once, when my family and i went out for dinner, we passed by some reflectors on the road and my seven-year-old brother asked, 'what are those bumps on the road?'

'Those? Those are a waste of money,' my mother replied, going on to rant about how wasteful it was of the government to spend their money on the road reflectors. Saying that peole needn't these things as the road lamps were as bright as it need be.

'Oh, i know what the reflectors are for,'mused my brother. 'They're so that people won't get lost right?(mind the bad english)So that ah, when the light shinjes at the reflector, the light will reflect back, and people can see the road.'

How true. God reveals His glory to us, then we reflect that kind of glory, giving out to the world all the love, kindness, mercy, peace and joy He's given us. God gives to us, then we give to the world.

Gosh, we really are like those reflectors aren't we? Reflecting the Light of the World, we light up THE way for people still in the dark, so that they may see the path and not get lost if it weren't for us. That's how important we are.

LIke the moon, we are the lesser light, reflecting the true light of God, giving light to this dark, dark world to light the way until the sun rises.That's how important we are to the world.So all you saints, burn bright the fire of God, lighting up THE way for the world. Burn bright.

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2004-07-31T20:06:00.000+08:00

Entry 12.

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make for yourself any carved image, in the likeness of anything that...

Today's drill:
After a cf cleanup session at school, my mother came to take me home. But on the way home, she stopped by a nearby Buddhist temple to burn incense, or 'pray' to my late grandmother.

I followed her inside, out of respect to others, especially the dead. The place was tiled and clean, there was a little chinese statue, shaped like a temple, on a pole where burned incense was placed (most people just call it a chinese idol). There were also many a statue, shaped as various chinese gods, and there was a 5 feet tall statue of the goddess guan yin.

My mother handed me over a bunch of josticks (is that how u spell it? wataktau..:P) to burn. As I held them in my hands, I remembered how I was told that incense was used to represent prayer. So I lighted the josticks, taking them in my hand, I went to the guan yin idol. (for I used to come here quite often when I was young, it became routine.)

I stared up the idol. How many people have lost their salvation to these false gods? How many people are being led astray? And how many more people will never know Jesus because of these false gods? A burning hate flickered in my chest. I looked at the people around me. The lost sheep, I thought. I began to pray in tongue, under my breath. I sighed. Looking up the idol, I said what I usually don't say. With a burning hatred, "f*** you."

Then, passing on, I moved to the side of the temple. On my right were many little statues of different gods, short, fat tall, thin, ugly, smoking, laughing, stern, all behind glass cases. What sort of gods are these? Sitting behind glass, smiling? What do people think these . . . 'gods' can do?

I turned to my right and saw money boxes, fixated to the wall. There were holes to put money in. On it, written in gold letters, were phrases like 'wealth' or 'luck or 'peace'. A bell on a rope hanged beneath the box to pull after you put money in. What, for peace, donate five dollars? For wealth, donate ten? If only it was that easy.

I looked straight, and saw the place to stick a few joss sticks in. Still praying in tongue, I added three sticks to the pot. "F*** you," I grimaced.

Next stop was another mini temple, or idol, or whatever you call it. I can't remember what it said, but I put the last few joss sticks there. "F*** you."

Inside the temple, there were glass cupboards, selling little idols and charms. I imagined Jesus storming in the synagogue two thousand years ago, whipping the merchants, toppling the tables, saying, "'My house shall be called a house of prayer', but you have made it into a 'den of thieves'!" Sigh...

Then I came to a corner of the temple, where I used to come as a child. From top to bottom, grey pictures of deceased hung on the wall, so... so lifelessly...so...dead. These people all never let Jesus into their hearts before. A pain stung my chest. These people never got to know a joy so precious, a love so strong, so rare, a God so reliable, so loving....

My eyes drew to a familiar part of that wall. My eyes fell on a familiar face. A man, and a woman. My grandfather, and grandmother. Both had lost the wonderful opportunity to get to know an exceedingly wonderful God. In my heart I have that wild hope of their salvation, as I push the alternative out of my mind. My praying tongue was restless.

I broke out of my train of thought. It was done. What I came to do so often as a child was done once again, but with so many insights, so many grievances, so many nagging thoughts...

I opened the door to the passenger seat, solemnly thoughtful. Shutting the door, I looked up in to heaven, and in closing my prayer, "won't You save us, o Good Shepherd."

2004-07-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

Entry 11.

My internet connection is still down… sigh… newayz,

Today’s drill:
Diamonds, beautiful and valuable, are used for jewelry and decoration. But before a diamond becomes how it looks, it has to be cut, tempered, refined, polished and shined. It’s not an easy process, but the result is worth it.

Uncut diamonds are what diamonds are called when they are found, raw and unprocessed. It looks like an ordinary rock.

Just like the uncut diamonds, we look plain and ordinary, just like any other rock. We’re covered in layers and layers of sinfulness and neglect, but what lies inside is a precious gem, our beautiful spirit as God made us.

That’s how Adam was when God made him, a perfect carat diamond. But Satan took care of that. He spread his filth and laid on layers of sin on what was once a perfect gem. That sin was passed down through the generations, adding a layer of filth in each one.

We’re all tracked in sin, and turning into the diamond we were meant to be won’t be easy. There will be tempering, refining, trials and troubles, tragedy and loss, but it will all be worth it when its done.

Fiona and Sarah once found a locket, shaped like a heart in a drain. It was fished out, cleaned and kept. It was a lovely silver locket, a little bit dirty inside, at the bottom of the drain.

Similiarly, at the lowest point of our lives, God sees us, fishes us out from the depths of the prison called sin, cleaned us with His mercy, and keeps us in His eternal, loving arms.

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2004-07-23T22:19:00.000+08:00

Entry 10.

Today’s drill:
Dear friend,
You’ve got a secret admirer, you know. He loves you. He’s crazy over you. He’s done crazy things just to get your attention. To name a few, just today,

He rose the sun for you,
and you didn’t care.
He drew the sky for you,
and you didn’t notice.
He made the birds sing for you,
and you didn’t hear.
He blew kisses on the wind for you,
and you didn’t feel.
He made the roses bloom for you,
and you didn’t realise.
He painted the sunset for you today,
and you didn’t see.
He hung a million stars for you,
and you weren’t bothered.
He robed his love on you,
and you didn’t know.
Or did you?

Did you know he does this everyday for you,
just so you’d notice him?
Did you know he followed behind you every day,
just so you’d take a peek at him?
Did you know he hanged himself on a cross,
just so you’d notice him?

Run away.
"I'll follow you," he'll cry from the cross.
"to the ends of the earth."

Ignore him.
"Come home," he'll call from the cross.
"let me take care of you."

Don't care.
"I care for you," he'll shout from the cross.
"even if you don't."

Don't believe.
"I believe in you," he'll screm form the cross.
"always."

Don't love.
"I love you," he'll promise from the cross.
"until I die...and after that."

Golly, did you know?

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2004-07-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

Entry 9.

I’ve been thinking . . .
I, Yi Kinn and Mei Xin were talking in the van on the way home today. The conversation steered towards our future and what was in store for us. Apparently friends don't mean much.

To quote a few, "friends are alrightla, but when you when you grow up, you see them again, say hi talk a bit then enough dee la, want to start old friendships again for what? Grow up dee then move on la..." and so on.

Gee, I didn't know that the friendship was a commuter bus, where you switch buses every few stations. I used to think it was kind of a nice and lovely schooner, where you enjoy the view, make friends with other passengers, small talk with the captain, until you reach your destination. Did I go wrong?

The years pass by, the wheel of time turns and turns, and the modern age is on the constant change. It gets worse. You hear it every now and then, don't you? Reality bites, life's like that, it's not fair and all that.

We’ve got bigger houses but not happier homes, more marriages but not more love, more associates but not more friends, better time-savers but not more time, life's like that.

Even ourselves for example, on the ladder to success, how many friends have we got? Or even better put, to how many are we friends to? And for how many people in this world are we willing to give up our money, time, career, dreams, or even our lives? Heaven knows, your list of people could well be counted with the fingers on your hands. Correct me if I’m wrong.

My conclusion? Bleh.

Sigh. . .

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2004-07-17T17:33:00.000+08:00

Entry 7.

urk.I'm not in church today when I'm supposed to.eee, I feel so bad.yet it's not my fault, cuz my mom won't let,my results are too bad.they really are,tho I won't say how bad.this sucks.totally.I think I'll just sit here and rot.

Sorry I'm not posting anymore for today,but well,....

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2004-07-15T14:47:00.001+08:00

Entry 6.

Today's drill:
A few months ago, I was the editor of my class' NIE paper. Admittedly, I was falling behind the due deadline, and when the paper was finally done, we were a week behind the deadline.

Heedless of that, I took the newspaper, got up and went to Mr William, the teacher in charge, to hand it in. I wondered what I was going to say to him. I kept replaying the scene in my mind. "Uh, Mr William, I know it's been a week past the deadline, and uh..."

The thing was, Mr William had every right to turn my paper down. But still I went up to him to hand in the paper, hoping he'd overlook the one-week-ago deadline, hoping he'd forgive me. I was not depending on my worthiness, but rather depending on his kindness.

But strangely, my situation actually sounded...familiar. It was kind of a deja vu to me. It brought back old memories, sweet and sour.

In my mind came a distinct memory of a little child, hands dirty, clothes torn, hair messy, feet muddy and face dusty, meekly stepping into a grand hall, treading dirt on the carpet, leading to the throne.

On the throne was a king. The child came and fell at his feet begging forgiveness. He didn't deserve it, no way, but still he came, not depending on his worthiness, but rather on the mercy of a king. Yeah, that was me.

The king got up, robed me with his love, brought a bowl of mercy and washed me clean.

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2004-07-14T17:56:00.000+08:00

Entry 5.

shout out:
Boo! I'm starting to get used to this blog! The template sucks though, and unless someone helps me, I think I'll just leave it alone, since I don't think many people read this. But if you are, thanks! Heheh.
*
Anyway, on another note, I recently noticed that the enemy has been trying different tactics while I haven't noticed. Sneaked through the back door while I was guarding the front. I'll take this as a lesson learnt. Guard every side of the base. You don't know where they'll attack from next.

Today's drill:
Have you ever had a time, when you were so frustrated, so distraught, and your whole world is grey, and suddenly God smiles on you, and everything's okay again? I have.

I woke up this morning, with a bad feeling that today was going to be a bad day, and guess what? It was.

I was swamped with work, got scolded a few times, had two extra classes after school, and what’s worse, I even woke up in a gloomy mood.

Then after school it rained heavily. I was hesitant in braving the rain, so I lingered in school for a while, walking around aimlessly. Then I met Liz. She asked me to join them in gardening the cf's plot of land, and I did, regardless of the mountains of work I had to do.

It was raining so heavily then that it was impossible to work on the land, and Esther was complaining a little. It suddenly struck me that we all had to trust God, the pilot of our lives, that we need storms like these to see the God clearer, to see Jesus walking in the storm, and that I need troubles and bad days like today to hear God better, the way Job needed to lose his children, his health and his wealth just to see God's holiness.

In the end, my day wasn't bad at all. It was kind of good, actually. But most of all, it was insightful and a day worth living. Thank God for the present day, which is a gift from God!

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2004-07-12T21:07:00.000+08:00

shout out:

happy birthday Huey Bingy! heheh.

2004-07-10T08:17:00.000+08:00

Entry 4.

The enemy is quiet lately. I think they're laying low after the last time. They're probably waiting for an opportunity when we're weak and open to attack. Though I hope not.

I went to church again today. It felt good! I haven't been there in two weeks. It's so rejuvenating! Church is kinda like my spiritual renewal place.

We had a Holy Communion today. It was well, kind of different, or new to me, since I have never ever partook in any real Christian formalities like the Holy Communion and Baptism. I don't really think it matters. I think It's more about the heart than the body outside. The pastor kept emphasizing on the importance of it, telling us about the body and blood of Christ and so on and so forth. Eh.

Oh and one more thing. When I was on my way home, my Dad told me there was a gospel from Thomas Diddymus. It was a real surprise to me, and He even lent me a book about it! It's really cool. It was only found about fifty years ago.

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2004-07-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

Entry 3.

Today's drill:
Here's something you'll never guess. I'm the Messiah. I am the second Son of God. I am here to remind the world of His love. I am the Son of God. Trust me.

Would you believe me? Or would you throw rocks at me, laugh at me, scorn me, call me a liar, a blasphemer, or even a crazy nut? I would choose the latter, and I wouldn't blame you if you did too, but Jesus and me, we're not that different in the way people see us.

I'm the son of an electrician(no, really), He's the son of a carpenter. I come from a mediocre family and well, Him too. I live life like the average kid next door, Jesus wasn't really out of place either. Maybe that's why most poeple didn't accept Him. He was just too...too normal. So normal and ordinary that people accepted Him for what He seemed to be, instead of what He was: the Son of God.

So what did Jesus have that I don't that makes people fall at His feet and call Him Lord?

Take a peek inside His heart, and you'll find the answer. It's the heart of God. It's a heart like no other. Burning with a love no one can quench, kindness enough for everyone, compassion that's so much people don't deserve it, and yes, a joy that never ends.

What, joy?

Face it, children don't scramble up and down stiff-necks, no one welcomes holier-than-thou people, grouches don't have a thousand-people fan club, crabs don't get wedding invites, and misers don't have disciples who eagerly learn from Him.

Jesus probably was and is...if I may say so, a joyful person.

Strange, isn't it? The general conception of Jesus would be a reverent and holy kind of church pew Jesus. People often think of Jesus as some kind of a god you worship, pray to and all that. It's certainly important, but God is more interested in personal letters than formal prayers. He wants a personal relationship. he wants the kind of attitude that makes you smile at Him with all the love in your heart. He wants you.

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2004-07-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

Entry 2.

okay...my 2nd blog ever...actually, it doesn't really matter, since I haven't told anyone about it, so it's totally private so far.

I'm trying to change the template, but it's all Greek to me, or Martian, or Plutonian. So I think I'll get someone to help me out.

Today's drill:
People know God but they don't know God. Most people I know take God for granted. I've been asked by non-Christians many times before: "but aren't we all children of God?" This is true in a sense, but I grew up thinking gods never cared for people, demanding worship, sacrifice and offering.

Now God does ask for this kind of service, but it's not what He really wants. The God of love commands us to love. Check that, God, who is love itself, commands us to love. And that means God loves you more than all your praises and worship and offerings! God…loves…you!

The problem is, today everyone knows about God. You hear it in movies, in books, on the radio, in the television and all that. Literally everyone I know does know of Jesus, but not many people actually know Jesus. And that sucks.

We must start the revolution.

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2004-07-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

Entry 1.

Yay, I got a blog! Hi, um...whoever you are.

Finally! I've been trying to get a blog for weeks now! I just couldn't log on to Blogger.com with internet explorer, so I'm using opera.

Kryz has been bugging me to get a blog. Not that I mind, but I realize she also got Liz, Hui Yii and Mei Yii to get their own blogs too, sounds like voluntary marketing to me.Heh.

Restocked ammo today. Got 2 Max Lucado books, oh yeah! Get them from me if anyone reading wants it.

Actually, I quite wonder who's reading this. Hello there whoever you are! Anyway this blog isn't purposed for people to read. It's just that getting something like this creates more commitment to write stuff. That I need. (diaries are for sissies, just joking)

Oh, and we fought a skirmish today, me n' Jesus. We won, I think. Or I hope we won. That's the problem with these little fights. Sometimes they're easy, sometimes they're hard. But you know you've just got to win, there's no other way. You don't want to think about the alternative. I don't.

Y'see, the original word, is translated to english as temptation, but it also can mean assault, so in a way we're fighting this spiritual war.

That's about it for my first entry.Thanks for being here!

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